I’m not sure other people like me, i.e, I’m actually afraid of failure. Everyone says that we shouldn’t. But the problem for me is that I don’t know how to make myself “shouldn’t” even though I really want that. So I think it will be better if I accept the feeling of being afraid and then I might overcome it.
When I was a child, I’m afraid of making something wrong because of my mother’s punishment. I wanted to be careful but unfortunately, I used to make a mess unintentionally like making some equipment broken. My mother would blame on me that why I was so careless.
When I went to school, I’m afraid of bad mark. I imagined that my friends would not play with me if I was not smart. Our teachers would not pay their attention to me if I was not the best student in class. So I always tried to be invincible in school.
When I go to work, I’m afraid of failure. If I do something wrong, I’m afraid that it will affect our company’s reputation. My performance then would decrease and someday they would fire me. Imagining the day that I start over everything makes me shudder.
Why am I so weak? I don’t want to be like that. I really want to get over this feeling right now. I want to be strong. I do not want to hide away. This feeling is so terrible and I do not want to take it with me any more.
Stop imagining. Take it easy and do not exaggerate the problem. It will be a true failure afterall if I just stay in one place to think about the consequence. Take action. I am the one who is responsible for mistake I did. Study from it.
Accept the normal fact that anyone can make mistake. No worries. Soon be better.