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Wrong assumption

This is my response for the Daily Post Think Again.

I am wrong once again in making assumption about other people. I always choose wrong person to share my room with. I did not use to get along well with my previous roommate, which caused us separated. I decided to rent a new room then. I have a new roommate now but it is just like out of the frying pan into the fire.

My new roommate is elder than me, so I thought she would be thoughtful. She would be a good and responsible person. She would be clean. I expected that she would not take advantage of my kindness like my previous roommate did but I was so wrong. Her good communication hides her not-so-good side. At first, I took everything easy on her and did not care about that. However, as days progressed, she keeps leaving the room dirty and setting it for me to tidy. I do it almost the time while she only makes it messy. She does not care about my feeling. She invited her relatives and stayed overnight in our small room. I need air to breathe. She uses all of my items without asking for my permission to use them. I think again on her. She is not like who I thought.

How I can stand it? How long can I take these horrible things? I know I need to go straight-forward. But she is elder than me and always so clever in talking, which make me feel hard to express my option directly and get it to the point. I think again on myself. Am I so easy-going in my appearance, which helps them to take advantage of me? Do I not have ability in making right assumption about other people, which causes the two failures in choosing roommate?

I might should be tough and bold.

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Dumped

It has never been easy for me to talk about broken relationships because I don’t want to recall anything related to them. However, this Daily Prompt encourages me to speak up. And this post is for you, who dumped me.

That was a big shock for me. I felt down and depressed. I couldn’t believe that such thing could happen to me.

I totally trusted you. I was convinced with your sweet words and your great promises about future. I was fed with your lies every day without knowing that they were “toxic” words. Until I had a crush on you, you kicked me to the curb. I fell off the ground, dropping to your trap. I was so innocent and stupid.

I doubted about myself at that time. Was I so bad?

But no.

I had lowered my standards when loving you but what you gave me was just cheating. I had tried to ignore my friend’s objection on this relationship. I had tried to accept you who just have desire on playing at cards. More important, I trusted you. But you fed me with your lies. I was broken. I used to want to make a revenge then. I wanted you to feel the tough feeling that I was suffering. But no need, it’s nonsense. Just forget and move on.

You took advantage of me. You just played a game. You told so much lies that I believed you. You let me down. I cried. Cried. So much.

But now I’m good. Thanks to you, I realize who are really important to me. You changed me. You made me live more open. Thanks to you, I feel closer with my mom and family. I was less selfish with my friends. Thanks to you, I will be able to realize bad guys like you in the future. Thanks for making me feel more confident about myself. Because of you, I am back with my nature, a strong girl.


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I will live alone

I tend to be set in my ways. I don’t want to have changes which take risks. But this time I will move to a new room because I can’t stand my roommate’s character any more.

I will not have to stand dirtiness at least. I am not a high-demanding person in cleanness but at least she should clean up the room after making it mess instead of what she usually does, that is, she leaves it there for me to do when I come back room from work. Every day, on the way to the room, I’m certain that dishes pile up there, “waiting” for me to be cleaned up. I will not have to get my tongue tied even when I am so upset with dirty house. I will not have to worry about way of sharing expenses, which sometimes I feel she is not honest about. I also will not have to try to break the silence out when I want to have an agreement between us. I don’t have to hold it back anymore.

I know that a lot of problems will come up if I rent a new room and stay alone. I may feel alone when coming back from work. Finance is also a big problem because I have to bear the whole expenses from renting house to buying food. etc.

But I guess I will be free.

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk it here but I can’t hold it anymore.


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Happy new year 2014

A hard year is about to end. Take a step back and see what was done, what needs to be followed up; what was made wrong and what is lesson from it and what is considered as successful. Am I happy with the ongoing? Let my mind be occupied with the year-that-was and then be refreshed with the year-that-will-be. Feel so excited with a new year’s resolution and ways to turn it into reality.

Happy new year. Wish you a happy and prosperous year ahead!